My Mommy Guilt

One of my favorite bloggers, Skinny Meg, recently blogged about mommy guilt as a response to a negative comment received on her blog. The comment was about the fact that she has started working full time and goes to the gym after work or on the weekends.  (Remember what I said about haters hatin'?)  The commenter felt like the time Meg was giving her daughter was not enough and said that she was sad for Meg's daughter.

I'll tell you who I am sad for.  

I'm sad for the kids that are learning unhealthy eating habits from their parents.

I'm sad for the kids who have no idea what physical activity is.

I'm sad for the kids whose parents are putting themselves at risk for a lifetime of weight-related diseases.

I'm sad for the kids whose mother is obese, depressed, and feeling hopeless because of her health.

Because those were my kids just a few years ago.  

I posted this photo on Monday.  The before shot was taken in 2007.  My oldest girls were 5 and 2 at the time.  I had found an old friend on Myspace (remember Myspace?!) and we had gotten together at Maymont Park in Richmond, VA.  We had to do a lot of walking and I remember feeling so tired, overheated, and just plain gross.  See how red my face is?  I was dying after walking so much that day.  My clothes were too tight.  I didn't care about my hair or my makeup.  I had basically given up.  In fact, it's a wonder I even agreed to have that photo taken.

Before Monday, I had never shared that photo with anyone.  This week I have been thinking about the mama in that photo.  Let me tell you about her.

That mama was a bad influence on her children.  She let her kids eat junk food, drink soda, and have Happy Meals multiple times a week.  She sat and watched while her children played on the playground.  She didn't make time for exercise, for running, or even just walking around the neighborhood.  She would rather drive than walk her daughter to school even though it was only six blocks away.  Trips to the water park, lake, beach and pool were few and far between.  She worried when going to amusement parks if she was going to fit on the rides.  Her kids had to beg her to play with them and usually she didn't have the energy.

Now let me tell you about the mama on the right.  She buys healthy foods for her family and says no to soda, junk food and empty calories.  She encourages her children to drink water with each meal.  She attends and participates in her children's PE classes (kid's zumba is no joke!).  She takes her kids for impromptu walks to the park.  She dances (dances!) with her kids.  She buys season passes to the water park for her family and practically lives at the beach in the summer.  She loves going on rides at the amusement park.  She runs with her little one in the jogging stroller.  She plays basketball with her kids.  She may not be to her goal yet but she is closer every single day.        

Me and Layla at Water Country USA circa 2011

I don't have any mommy guilt over leaving my children in the gym daycare so that I can take a class or get on the treadmill for an hour.  I have no mommy guilt over spending Saturday mornings at a race instead of watching cartoons on the couch.  I don't even have mommy guilt when I spend time out alone shopping for new clothes or getting my hair done.

My mommy guilt is over all those years that I was a bad influence on my children.  

Me and the little ones,  December 2012

My children, and your children, deserve to have a healthy mother.  They deserve to be taught good eating habits.  They deserve to be shown how to live an active lifestyle.

They deserve to have their mothers around for a very long time.

There is no guilt or shame in taking care of and loving yourself.  Thanks, Meg, for being such an inspiration to working mamas!  You make me want to work harder, lift heavier and run faster!