Tuesday, October 8, 2013

My True Motivation

I was recently talking to a co-worker about how difficult it is to stay focused on weight loss.  She was sharing with me how someone had told her, "It's easy.  Just don't eat junk food."

Yeah.  Sure.  That's really easy to say.  Especially when you are naturally thin and have never struggled with your weight a day in your life.  But when you are dealing with a 30 year history of food issues then saying is easier than doing.

I came home late last night after a meeting with the older girls and a stop at the store and proceeded to eat.  And eat.  And eat.  I wasn't even hungry and I continued to eat.  Annagrace wanted to try Candy Corn M&Ms (don't waste your money--they are way too sweet) so I had some of those.  Then I had some chips and dip (leftover from a party).  And then to finish my binge off I had a bowl of Golden Grahams.  Junk food extravaganza.  All food that I don't typically buy but I went to the store hungry (rookie mistake!).  

I went to bed disappointed in myself as I realized just how bad I felt--physically and mentally.  Although I've been successful with my goal of maintaining my weight I have not been doing so healthfully.  And to me, it isn't all about maintaining the weight it's about being HEALTHY.  I mean, that's why I started on this journey to begin with.

I have to get out of my head that I need to run/lift weights/workout to maintain or to lose weight.  I have got to get it back in my head that this is about my health.  It's about avoiding the heart disease that runs so rampant through my family.  It's about avoiding diabetes.  It's about living a healthy long life so I can see these precious little birdies of mine grow up.

My sweet little ladies, October 2013
I'll never succeed if I make this all about being skinny or being a size 6 or about some number on the scale.  These girls will help me succeed because this is about being the best, healthiest mama I can be.  Here's to a new (healthy) day.  

1 comment:

  1. Ugh! I've had those binges - even recently. It's like all of a sudden I think If I blow through the junk food quickly, it didn't happen. Then I feel like crap. I have been making some healthy meals, but I need to work on meal prep, because when we're in a rush I have such a hard time figuring out what we're going to eat. I feel really bad when I make poor choices for my kids - I need to make healthy choices for all of us. There is no way I want them worrying about food or weight all their lives. We need to do this for them!! It's out biggest, most important job of our lives!